Archive for July, 2010

July 29, 2010

One of My Failures, 1-800-VENDOR


^^I was just sent an embarrassing email [to me it is embarrassing, probably funny to you] with a reminder to renew my domain. 

It was probably 1-800-CONTACTS, 1-800-DENTIST, or 1-800-PETMEDS — or a combination of those that inspired me to get my ass off the couch and try to figure out my own 1-800 million dollar idea. I was typing random w-w-w.ANYTHING when “1-800-VENDOR” was “availble.” I registered the .com, .net, .info, and .org immediately.

Then upon working through some of the logistics, like realizing that there are 7 digits in a phone number (and not 6) — I realized that, once again, my impulsiveness had gotten the best of me. Try Again.


I’m almost embarrassed to even admit spending brainpower on ideas like this one. But if I ever succeed at something, my failures probably make for much more interesting stories — the road is littered with ideas of mine that never made it off the drawing board (I literally have a dry erase board within 5ft of me at all times). Most of them involve monetizing bums. Because of disappointments like this (not getting the right DOT.COM name) I decided to first build a rock solid business plan before I ever chose to name the company [referring to LeaseMunky].

Even having a rock solid business plan doesn’t guarantee success. Have you sold anything yet? Do you have customers yet?

Coincidentally, I just found out about this site that pretty much is what I had envisioned for my vendor site, if  had ever gotten past naming it. I wish them luck. I guess I really had no passion for the vendor business otherwise I would have trudged forward regardless and just picked a different name.

That almost happened when I tried to register, almost just called it quits right there. Imagine how crappy some of our customers’ lives would be without us [insert sarcasm].



July 27, 2010

Web Apps are Like Reality TV Shows

They’re cheap to make, and yea you might hit a home run once in a while, but at the expense of thousands of crappy flops.

You also lose highly talented people to spending time on useless apps instead of writing quality software to solve meaningful problems.

July 25, 2010

Attempt at Haiku

I have no idea what inspired me to want to express an idea in 3 lines. But, it makes sense considering my fascination with simplicity these days.

I never knew the real format of a Haiku, so I did what I always do when I don’t know something, I googled it and instinctively went to the Wikipedia article, and you can’t ever go wrong with doing that, god how I wish I could do high school over again with the resources kids have these days, actually I’m enjoying being 27, screw high school. Although it would mean that high school girls are okay.

I’m sort of an extreme person, in that I either do something passionately or I don’t. Combined with being a lazy person, I generally opt to ‘not’ do things. However, if I am actually found doing something, I probably have a burning desire to be the best at whatever it is that I’m doing.

It has its pros and cons, being extreme on one hand, and extremely lazy on the other hand. I have the capacity to create amazing things but I neglect an equal amount of other things. Oh well.

For example. Take my favorite TV shows like Sopranos, Lost, and all that other crap. I’ll wait till season 7 and watch them back to back over the course of 2-3 days. I’ll actually skip work, lock myself in, stock the fridge, and get it over with.

School. I couldn’t stand the thought of the person next to me being smarter than me so I had to get A’s.

Laundry. This is more an example of something that I just don’t do. However, given a long enough timeline and the limited supply of boxers, I’m generally forced to action. Laundry is actually plan B, where plan A is turn all my boxers inside out. But when I DO decide to finally do my laundry, it’s like 8 loads. The manager of the laundromat always seems to be amazed — mostly amazed at how inefficient I am being and how long I’m taking.

Paying for my parking tickets. I’d rather not discuss this one at the moment but I’ll let you figure which side of the coin I’m on.

why half ass something–
do it one hundred percent
or nothing at all

July 15, 2010

chasing girls on the playground

I can only remember doing this in Kindergarten. The details are kind of sketchy but I’m sure it went something like this.

It would be lunchtime, almost time for recess.

“What shall we do for recess today?”

“Want to go chase some girls around the playground like we did yesterday?”

“yea dude.”

And that’s about all I remember. I don’t think we ever caught one, because there wasn’t really a plan for what we would do if we actually caught one of these mysterious creatures.

Of course we had the ability to run faster and throw rocks. But then they developed the special ability of crying, and some learned to throw rocks back.

Beware of Girls

July 7, 2010

Example of what I do when I get bored at work post

July 7, 2010

People Can’t Change…

The prevailing thought out there seems to be that people can’t change… in relationships, in the workplace, even my dogs will always be dogs, sniff each other’s butts, never really understand what I’m saying — yet they’ll do anything for a treat and hump anything that moves.

People, or humans rather, deserve more credit than that. Can’t people change? — sometimes they should change — but they have to want to change. If you want something bad enough you’ll get it, usually with a cost associated with it. You want a million dollars? You might get it, but you might also alienate all your friends and family and have no social life for the next few years. Try to stop a man who REALLY wants something and see if you can get in his way. Kobe puts the ball up. LeBron’s going for the dunk.

So if you want to change someone, your focus shouldn’t be on changing them. Your focus should be on making them WANT to change. My dogs for example. I spent forever (okay 4.5 years to be exact) wondering why my stern tactics weren’t working, stupid no good won’t listen to me dogs. Then I took them to Petsmart for training in early 2009 and learned some very basic positive reinforcement tactics with treats. Now Kodi & Kimo are much better behaved, still a couple of mischievous assholes, but still, we get along better now.

Everybody is changeable, that’s my philosophy — but if you’re anything like me, I’ll choose one person that I might want to make the effort to change for. Change is hard. You wanna lose 10lbs and keep it off? Let me save you $100 on those P90X videos. Eat all your meals at Subway and jog 2 miles a day for the rest of your life. Done. Whether it’s a girlfriend, people at work, employees, boss, etc — change is possible, but the other person has to make me want to change. So if I am that way, I assume others might just be the same way. If I haven’t made them want to change, then I don’t deserve that change.

I was never laid back, hard working, generous, cared about others, or responsible. Come to think about it, I’m not all that responsible or generous at the moment. But the other traits — take hard working for a moment — in college, I did the least amount of effort possible to get an A, slept and played video games (Madden on PS3 mostly) and tried to NOT have classes on Friday. Fast forward a few years and you’d find me at the office on a saturday and sunday and pulling 12 hour work days. Priorities shift, goals become clear, and I go after what I want, period.

People can change. Make them want to change.

July 3, 2010

What I would do with a Million Dollars

First of all — I think very few of us can actually comprehend what a million dollars is. You might be thinking — “you’re crazy — a million dollars is just a ‘1’ with six zeros behind it.

Yes. But have you ever actually counted to a million dollars? No. It’s a lot of money. You probably don’t own anything nearly as valuable.

Which brings me to my point. I’ve traditionally measured money in units of ‘things’ which are important to me at that given point in my life — let me elaborate. In college, I measured money by how many Yoshinoya Beef Bowls I could buy. If someone offered me $20/hr for a job — I would convert that into approximately 5 Yoshinoya Beef Bowls per hour, pretty decent salary.

So $1,000,000 is approximately 250,000 Yoshinoya Beef Bowls — which is still a number which I can’t easily comprehend — because the most Beef Bowls I’ve eaten in a day is about 3, maybe 2.5 until I passed out.

Anyways. I’m just rambling here. A million dollars isn’t that much money these days. A house, small apartment building, exotic car, could all set you back a mil. In 2001 we thought Napster selling for $1m was cashing out like a bandit. Now you don’t get a pat on the back unless your company is valued at a Billion.

A million dollars just isn’t that impressive and just won’t buy you what it used to. However, I’m still a Yoshinoya Beef Bowl guy.

I’ve always wondered what I would REALLY do if I had a million dollars in the bank, money that I really didn’t need to survive.

What would I do? Well first, I’d go crazy and fill the fridge with Yoshinoya Beef Bowls. I’d go to Japan and hire a personal chef to keep a fresh supply of beef bowls coming from the kitchen.

But what would really be the first thing I’d do if money and image didn’t matter anymore, and I was really allowed to do what I want to do…?

I would start by not censoring my personal blog anymore and write whatever the fuck I wanted to write. When I was in school it was a lot easier to just write for the world, for myself, put it out there, and not care. When you get older, have clients, have more visibility, more responsibility — your shit gets boring. You start caring about what others think, how it might affect this and that… what your clients might think of you.

^Well. My advice to myself, and anyone out there: start doing whatever you’d be doing if you had a million dollars in the bank.